And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
