I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
