So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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