Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
