You made me cry and you don't even care
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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