We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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