i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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