Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
