sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
