wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
