one word: firstdatebathroomanal
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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