trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need to calm my uterus...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize