I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
