A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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