You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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