I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
