she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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