y did u give ur computer a hand job?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
