my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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