I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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