i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize