Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
