glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
