Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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