worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
