Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
