The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
