now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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