playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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