U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
