you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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