Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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