Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how drunk are you?
Several
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
