We won't sleep together?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
