I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
