So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
