whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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