I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
