big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
