Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
