do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
