I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
