He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
