I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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