Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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