Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
