There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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