I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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