I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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