id be glad to
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
