i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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