Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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