What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
