How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
