I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
