either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so let's talk penis.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
