really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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