She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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