she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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