Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she smelled like a LAN party
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
