i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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