He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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